10 Ways to Open Yourself Up to Love Again

You may have been dumped, betrayed or simply holding onto an ex who doesn’t feel the same way about you. Either way, love can hurt, which is why it’s so important to move on and open yourself up to someone who can love you the way you deserve to be loved. Here are 10 ways to get going in a positive direction, and open your heart up to someone new.


1. Set Boundaries for Yourself

  • Focus on you ¾ what do you want, you need, you feel? Insist that someone new give that to you, and repeat this affirmation: “I love myself, and as I do, I surround myself with love from others.”
  • What didn’t work in a past painful breakup? Set boundaries for yourself so that you don’t subconsciously repeat negative patterns of love that no longer serve your best interest.

2. Trust Someone New…With Caution

  • Trust is a positive thing to give, until it’s been abused or mistreated.
  • Go into every date or relationship with the belief that they deserve to be treated just as you do.
  • Keep your eyes open and pay attention to any nudges from your gut telling you that something is ”off.”
  • Listen to feelings your body gives you of uneasiness, nervousness or fear.

3. Focus on Positive Thoughts of Love and Receive It Back

  • Love comes in many forms ¾ good or bad, codependent or independent.
  • What’s yours going to be? Set your intention for a positive, unconditional love relationship that begins now before you’ve even met him or her.
  • Repeat this affirmation to boost love in your life: “As I love and respect and honor myself and my body, I attract a partner who does the same. I welcome love into my life, now and forever.”

4. Rejoin the Dating Pool With Confidence

  • You’re attractive, kind, fit, generous, intelligent and lovely. Enter the dating game with all the confidence in the world. You deserve it!
  • Focus on your amazing attributes that will make the right person extremely satisfied and happy.
  • Focus on what you have, and resist the urge to compare or doubt yourself in any way.
  • Anytime your thoughts drift back to the past (painful, untrue comments an ex has made about you, etc.), repeat the following: “I don’t take anything personally. What someone thinks of me is none of my business.”

5. Set Affirmations in Place and Read Them Daily

  • Affirmations are positive thoughts of intention that help you to accept what you want.
  • Use affirmations to bring love into your life, erase fears and move into a new way of thinking.

6. Focus on What You Want

  • Make yourself a priority.
  • Make a list of everything you want in a partner, and don’t leave any room for settling.
  • Make a list of everything you don’t want.
  • Read these lists daily to help you “program” your reality.

7. Be on the Lookout for Familiar Patterns

  • Focus on patterns of behavior you recognize from the past with a current relationship ¾ secrecy, being wishy-washy about taking the relationship to the next level, etc.
  • Don’t be afraid to let go of someone new if you recognize patterns you don’t want to repeat.
  • Own your future by saying goodbye to the things that no longer work for you, and as you do, you’ll make room in your life for someone who fits into your life perfectly.

8. Date Someone “Outside of Your Norm”

  • Do you reject going out with someone (or even the thought of it) because they have tattoos or they aren’t in your social circle?
  • Appearances can be deceiving. Get to know their true self, what they stand for, their values, sense of humor, and what their life is all about before dismissing them as “Mr. or Mrs. Wrong.”

9. Insist on Honesty and Set the Bar

  • Focus on honesty, love and a commitment, and that’s what you’ll get.
  • Set the bar for impeccable honesty. What you exude, the right partner will send back to you. 

10. Trust Someone New Until They Give You a Reason Not To

  • Go in to a new relationship with trust; anything less will be a turnoff to a potential partner.
  • Just as there are dishonest people in the world, there are good, honest ones. Remember that when you make your intention to be honest and good, you’ll attract someone on the same frequency.


Anyone has the chance to betray your trust, which is why you should adopt these tips as your own to defend you against anyone who isn’t willing to be honest with you. Learn how to trust someone new by being a beacon of honesty and trustworthiness yourself, and go forward in the your dating life knowing that the right one is out there.